I've been in contact a couple times now with my seamstress Rachel about the costume. I had no idea there were so many thing I have to decide on. It sounds though like its coming  together nicely and I can't wait to see it completed. I've only to figure out what type of shoes I want to have go with the costume though thats proving to be a lot more difficult then I had initially planned. Do I go with some sort of MJ variation or do I try to do some knee boots with laces. Its all very confusing and being relatively indecisive in fashion, I've resulted to systematically going around and asking everyone what their opinions are. Naturally everyone is suggesting different shoes and thats proving to only complicate the problem.

I guess I'll keep on it. Window shopping, whoohoo!!!

-Mia  

I'm not quite as wordy as Mia so I keep this short and to the point. Seeing how excited she gets about opportunities like Halloween, am I holding her back because of my own limitations? When she gets excited about something to this extent, I can really feel it. The way it makes her feel, I need to ensure she has every opportunity to as we travel through life together to feel like this.

She's made sacrifices on her own part so many times before that I could live a relatively normal life and I really should give back everything I can. Well Mia I'm ready! I will do everything I can to make you overflow with joy. You will shine like the sun.

You will have the world!  

I love halloween. Its such a great opportunity for me. Besides the fact that this time of year holds special note for me because it was around this time of year I finally was able to get some recognition from Marq after working in the background all our life. I've had the opportunity to shine a couple of halloweens past and this year will be no exception.

As per our attire arrangements, I don't usually get to pick anything to wear outside around other people. Halloween offers a unique opportunity to do so without raising hardly any questions. Essentially its a free ticket to stretch my wings without repurcussions.

Well I was at my local Wal-Mart and I saw a costume in the costume isle that I absolutely fell in love with. Speaking with Issa and one of my friends about it, we determined that the costume itself is probably not as high quality as I deserve. One of our friends does costume making on the side and we made contact on this project and she was more then happy to give it a try.

I am including the picture of the costume store bought version and after its complete I'll repost with a picture of the finished costume in use. The only significant changes we're making to the design are lengthening the front a little more and replacing the gold trim with some other color. Maybe make the sleaves not hang so much too.

This is going to be adorable I can already tell and I'm quite excited!!

I'm going to go as goth'd out as I can because this style dress is similair to one of my characters in the D&D game I play, a necromancer by the name of Nadia who comes from a noble background that she doesn't emphasis but its still obvious in how she carries herself. Its that kind of creepy yet elegant style I wish to achieve. Of course I'll compliment the costume with the proper footwear and legwear, accessories, and some long black nails. I even hope to dye my hair black.

Girl in a candy store!
-Mia


 

 So here's the situation. One of my friends who is aware of the situation that Marq and I find ourselves in has a girlfriend. Now through some situation that I've been unable to determine the details of, some crucial information was leaked that to her didn't make any sense about me. Atleast not what she knew about me, being as she wasn't aware of our circumstances.

She asked about it and he said it wasn't his place to say anything. She did continue to ask until he gave in and told her what I assume was atleast a basic idea of what was going on but thought that maybe I didn't want that information spread so he told her not to make it obvious that she was aware.

I don't necessarily advertise but I don't keep it a secret. If someone wants to tell someone else, they go right ahead as long as they do the Marq and I justice.

Anyways on atleast two occasions during this situation or that she said something to the effect of "Poor Mia". The first time it happened I didn't take too much notice because maybe I misheard but the second time I was definitely hearing right.

I asked the friend on the side one time what he had said to her and he told me how he had slipped once and that set things in motion until he had to address her questions directly and assured me that he had done us justice. I said though that I would still like to talk to her about it.

A week paces and today I ask her to step aside with me to talk about it and she seemed uncomfortable or at the least really tired. She said she couldn't remember what she knew. I assured her I wasn't mad but just wanted to make sure he covered it us fully. She didn't seem up for the conversation so I asked him to reassure her I just wanted to talk and she should track me down when she was feeling better.

I hope that she will take my words to heart and come talk with me. Just wanted to get that off my chest.
I feel better already.

-Mia

I've been making progress with Marq. As per our agreement on attire, he gets to pick what we wear to work and I do most of our most fabulous outfits back at home. That doesn't mean I can "strongly" influence him to make us presentable. If I left him to his devices alone, he'd wither us away from lack of food and proper care. Its not his fault really, he's just easily distracted.

He's been doing a much better job of staying shaven, our hair brushed and kept neat, and our clothing presentable. The hope now is that he continues the habits after I stop pushing the issue. Maybe thats optimistic thinking. A girl can dream. Rworl!

-Mia

I get the feeling like I'm not liked as much as Mia. I recognize maybe why this is. Sure I'm friendly enough and get along with many people but being the buddy only gets you so far. She's much better at the one-on-one interactions then I. In addition, my competitive nature makes me come off as arrogant and mocking even in competitive situations.

And even to Mia I come up a little short. One of our agreements was to maintain our outward appearance as being presentable. More often then not I'm just not willing to put forth the effort to shave every day because I get up too late or I'm too tired before bed.

I can't really change the way I am though. All I may be able to do is stay out of Mia's way where my particular expertise and personality is not needed. After all I owe her a lot of time in the spotlight, atleast half of the 26 years she wasn't expressing herself.

Yeah I'll keep working on it.

-Marq 

The last couple days I've been wondering what role I'm supposed to play in all this. I've been in a rut since maybe Thursday and it took some thinking and talking to make progress.

And then today, I got what I wanted, recognition. Something so simple and overlooked, but extremely important when you don't have it. And then I was happy. Maybe too happy. Like freak out happy. It felt good, I don't want that to go away. Hold it here. Now. Still.

I brought up some important questions with the main guy in my life and I think we understand each other. He's seeing things my way for once, its nice. I think I'll keep him around for now.

-Mia 

I don't know what I'm going to dress up as for this Halloween party I'm going to be participating in. I know my friends have given costumes some thought but I don't think I've thought about it for more then a few seconds. I seem to think the good idea for a costume is just going to be obvious, and its not.



I'm pretty sure all store bought costumes aren't worth my time, so I'm gonna need something I throw together myself. What to do, what to do?
Maybe I'll go as a bride, its unexpected, very unexpected. Whoops.

I'm torn between the love of two.

This is no ordinary love triangle though. Atleast I don't think it is. On one hand, there is this guy who is more important to me then any guy could be and I love him for for all his faults because we are inseparable. On the other hand though is this girl I also love in a different way from the guy, a more sensual and spiritual way, a near dependancy on her love. She is my soul mate.


I brought up the question in silent thought to myself, can I not always have them both. I believe I can.


Do not be mistaken though, they know each other well and they love each other very much. I secretly only hope I will always be a part of that love. After all, I do love her in a way he can not and love him in a way she could not.


I am the missing piece, torn between two.




-Mia

Recently I've been trying to come to terms with my feelings. I think I'm making progress because I feel more free of the restrictions that once held me down. There is still much more ground to cover. I'm not there yet, but I'm moving foward, and I doubt I can be stopped now.

I've realized that happiness can only be gained and appreciated when you're honest with yourself and the ones around you. They may not understand, but they will someday. I'll make sure of it.

I surround myself with people I care about, I think thats what I need to do right now. Who knows, I might be surprised by the support I recieve. Most people who don't know me very well. Thats mostly my fault, but I'll tell them as much as they want to know. Most people can't see past the surface, a kind of tunnel vision brought about by the circumstances that control our lives and behaviors. Things are going to change, I'll make sure of it.

Watch out everyone, Mia will be heard!